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Archive for April, 2012

Happy Secretary’s Day! Oops, I mean Happy Administrative Assistant’s Day. Shucks, just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? When did secretary become a dirty word? Long before television’s Madmen hit the airwaves, female clerical support staffers decided that secretary was a demeaning title. George Orwell wouldn’t have been surprised. When retail clerks and cashiers become ‘associates’, we know that Thinkspeak has overtaken English as the language of today. Maybe that explains why I can’t find ‘Gal Friday’ in the help wanted section of Craigslist.

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The Culture Vulture finds herself downtown, near the homeless shelter. Most wear bright green T-shirts. A jolly woman, who seems to know everyone, is the unofficial party hostess. She calls out greetings to others mingling in a weedy vacant lot. She wears a green felt fedora (the type found at party supply stores just before St. Patrick’s Day). Another fellow, with glazed eyes, searches for stubbed-out cigarettes in the gutter. He pauses long enough for me to read the slogan on his shirt: “Kiss me, I’m Irish.” Tempting, but, no. A quick mental check confirms the date: April 20, not March 17. What’s going on? Then, it all becomes clear. Every business or charity-event that issues T-shirts to promote their cause, has donated the leftovers to the homeless shelter. What a brilliant advertising scheme! Brand messaging taken to the streets. The wearin’ o’ the green t’isn’t just for those snobs who drink green beer and vomit outside of upscale nightclubs, no sir. St. Patrick’s Day is for everyone: rich, poor, drug-addled or sober. Top o’ the mornin’ to ye.

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