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Archive for May, 2012

Summer!

flip is higher than flop

flip is higher than flop

Summer! Time to pull my flip-flops out of storage. Hah! As if flip-flops are only for summer. What a quaint notion. Flip-flops, like jeans, are worn every day and for every occasion. What used to be bought at the dime store (now, that’s a quaint concept) for less than a quarter, is now a fashion item that can cost upwards of $100.00. How did the humble flip-flop transform herself from peasant to princess?

After WWII, American soldiers returned from Japan, bringing the zori with them. California surf culture elevated the status of those rubber thongs (yes, Ms. Millenial, a thong used to be footwear, not underwear). Zories, thongs, slaps, slippers, holo-holos, flip-flops – whatever you call them, they’re here to stay.

What has the Culture Vulture enthralled is the way that entrepreneurs have suckered us into paying so much for those rubber flip-flops. I’m not talking about the molded-arch, heavy-duty versions. I’m talking about the most basic rubber style. (you know who you are, Haviana) $25.00 is the average price and believe it or not, there are $200.00 versions adorned with Swarovski crystal elements (what used to be called rhinestones; i.e. cheap, fake jewels…but that’s a topic for another day). Apparently there are brides out there who want to wear bedazzled flip-flops on their special day but can’t find their way to Wal-Mart and don’t own a glue gun.

The Culture Vulture actually admires Haviana for having the audacity to market their product as more than just a shower shoe. Their full-spread ads in Vogue magazine are proof of the power of branding. Flip-flops as fashion statement. As P.T. Barnum famously said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” The capitalist spirit is alive and well. Kudos.

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Happy Mother’s Day! Don’t be fooled by appearances. This furry mom’s guilt is eating her up inside.

Cats, Kitten

Cats, Kitten (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In spite of what your children tell their friends, therapists and parole officers, you are not the worst mother in the world. In honor of mothers everywhere, squirming with guilt and wondering what went wrong, the Culture Vulture has compiled a list of bad moms.

1. Ma Barker. This mom raised four outlaw sons and travelled with them on their violent crime sprees. Because local television news had yet to be invented, the country never got to hear this now-common refrain: “But, really, he was a good boy.”

2. Joan Crawford. Movie-star mom, whose most famous line does not come from any of her films. “No more wire hangers!”

3. Britney Spears. When you lose custody of your kids to Kevin Federline, you know you’ve hit rock bottom as a mom.

4. Gertrude, Hamlet’s mom. The Queen of Denial, she married the man who murdered her husband, Hamlet’s father.

5. Octomom. After giving birth to a litter, some said a cat is a better mother than this mom, but the Culture Vulture thinks that is an insult to cats everywhere.

6. Burnt Marshmallow Mom. This tanning-bed addict makes a Toddlers and Tiaras mom look downright June Cleaverish.

7. Herodias. The original Dance Mom. Her talented daughter, Salome, could have taken home a gigantic trophy. Instead, at the urging of her mom, Salome requested the head of John the Baptist on a platter.

8. Jenny McCarthy. Playboy model, self-appointed expert and spokeswoman for the autism/vaccination connection. Only in America.

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